The Queen of Brevity (If only that were true)...

Happy New Year

2010-01-04T13:40:00.002-05:00

Here's to the first post of 2010. Happy Blogging!

A Dry Chin Is A Happy Chin...Right?

2009-12-05T23:24:00.005-05:00

My chin has finally begun to flake. Truthfully, flake isn't the appropriate word for what's happening.

Let's turn to our handy-dandy thesaurus and pick the best word for what's actually occuring:

scale
peel*
lamina (as if it rhymed with "vagina")
leaf*

Peel is suitable.

My chin has finally begun to peel. This was my older brother's favorite part about being on Accutane.

"It meant the drug was sucking the oil out my skin. I loved it!"

Be that as it may, my least favorite part is that picking -- or peeling -- my skin doesn't help. And if you're kissing someone else, that doesn't make things any easier.

The peeling's also begun on my lips. But thanks to the Burt's Bees, life is a lot easier. I put some all around my mouth and lips. What I like about this lip balm is not only does it get cold when it's first on, but Burt's makes your lips soft. They aren't as cracked, thank God.

What are your dry chin/lip remedies?

Accutane - Post One

2009-12-05T01:54:00.003-05:00

After many months of doctors appointments, blood (tests), sweat and tears, I have finally begun my first treatment of accutane.

Everyone has their own version of insecruity with self-image:

A: Oh god, my hips are so ginormous. They might as well be the 51 state of our Union.
B: You think your hips are bad, try looking at my thighs. Have you seen seals this big south of Antartica?
C. Please, my hair looks like an ape went through it.

Mine has been my skin. Thanks to my Father's genetics (not to mention Mom's oily skin -- sorry, Mom), I have struggled with acne for more than ten years. I use to think using Clean & Clear was cool until my face started to look like scab city. Not to mention the scars.

Now, I will admit, I make it sound a lot worse relative to those who've had seriously bad acne. People tell me all the time, "Your skin is clear. What are you talking about?!" If you looked into the mirror and saw what could be comparable to a minefield, you'd probably feel the same way. And those magnifying mirrors? Forget it! My best friend and my worst enemy.

Well, thanks to this wonderful drug called Accutane, my skin will be way less of problem (theoretically). Over the course of 5-6 months, I will take at least one pill a day for thirty days. After thrity days I return to my dermatologist for a monthly visit, where I get my blood taken and am also given a pregnancy test. We're required to make these visits thanks to iPledge, the Accutane patient-doctor program that requlates and closely monitors the progress of your treatment. This program was put into effect mainly from the health risks Accutane could cause, the big one being birth defects (hence the pregger tests as well as being required to take two forms of birth control -- abstinence or lying and saying that your a lesbian doesn't count. Trust me, I tried). Now if I had a penis, taking Accutane would be a walk in the park. Sexism anyone?

So having said all of that, let's talk about what's been going on. I've taken the medication for two and a half weeks. So far, I've experience:

-Dry lips. And you have to use lip balm, not gloss. The issue I've run into is that you must reapply the glossier balms 10-20 times an hour (that's not an exaggeration, people. it's 100% literal). I just started using Burt's Bees Beeswax Lip Balm. In a 6 hour period, I only reapplied once. That says something. Carmax is also another good one (I've heard). I'll have to try it if I lose my Bee's (I hope I don't!).

-Dry Skin. Period. Everyone that's ever been on Accuntane will tell you that the first side effect they experience was dry skin. And it's not just your traditional dryness. My skin has started to become so dry on parts of my face that even the inside of ears are dry.

Let's go over that again: My skin has started to become so dry on parts of my face that even the inside of my ears are dry.

Moral of the story? You have to continually moisturize. And if you use makeup? be careful. I can't use bronzer on my chin or nose because it starts to flake. It's like sandpaper. I got the recommendation to use Cetaphil Lotion or Nivea. Either is really good. So far, so good. Also, Dove Body Wash.

-Dry Scalp. This is a more recent development. I've always had a mild case of dandruff. Some periods worse than others, but since I started taking the medication, I look like I have psoriasis.

That sounds disgusting. Oh wait, it is.

I even noticed tonight that the baby hairs along my hairline are starting to flake. It makes sense that this would occur, but it's borderline nausiating to deal with. Andrea's Granny recommended Tea Tree Oil. I've use it twice and so far it's lessened the dryiness but it's dried the hell out of my hair. I will do some research on this.

Any other new development? Oh yeah, the texture of my skin is changing. It's not as smooth. I have especially noticed this change on my forehead. I now know why: My brow is full of tiny black dots.

They say your skin is suppose to get worse before it gets better. This isn't even the worst. That has yet to come...I tried to show a video but alas, that'll have to be for another time. Until then, happy pimple picking!

Eww.

Internship

2009-10-27T22:18:00.002-04:00

My First.

2009-10-26T10:32:00.003-04:00

Too Many I's!

2009-08-18T23:09:00.004-04:00

This blog needs to have a more focused purpose:

-To critic cultural happenings (dedicated to restaurants/tv/manhattan happenings)?
-Life after college?
-My acting career?
-A journey log?

Perhaps all of the above for now. Let's try the organic approach and see where this blog takes us.

I need to figure out a way for Karl and I to live in our own place. We need to come up with some sort of realistic budget, which will include:

Pre Move-In:
-Fee's (Application and/or Credit Check)
-First/Last/Security
-Cable/Electric/Internet Set-up and Activation Fees

Move-In:
-Rent
-Furnishings (Furniture which, luckily, his parents can help us with)
-Utilities (Ideally cable, electric and internet)

Now that I'm writing this all out, there's a lot more money needed than I previously thought. Good thing I actually do think once in a while.

Once we come up with a number, maybe we can set a time framed goal. My Mom suggested to wait and see what happens with the catering job first in order to better gauge how much money I'll be making. I don't know why, but a part of me believes the job will fall through. I really hope not!

So much more, but my brain is slowly getting tired.

Epiphany

2009-06-04T19:45:00.002-04:00

It seems that everytime I come to this city my sweet tooth aches extra bad at all hours of the day. Ice cream; Junior's Cheesecake; Sticky Toffee Pudding from The Dubliner...

New York is the city with any and every resource at your finger tips. From theatre to art to radical ice cream flavors and desserts, it's all here...

The epiphany is this: If you want ice cream, you get it. If you want an acting career, you get it. The only reason you don't succeed here is if you don't go after it. That or the freezer's melted and, in turn, all the frozen treats.

The City Is Either Going To Sunday Brunch or Working Sunday Brunch

2009-05-31T11:24:00.002-04:00

So here's a brief update:

-Graduated college
-Came home for a week
-Went to New York to visit my boyfriend
-Got a job
-Decided to stay
-Found a sublet

This new found freedom -- of choice and survival to do so -- is unpredictable, scary and exciting. Not to mention interesting.

...That's the third time the door to my room has creaked open this morning. Wonder if it's a ghost.

Graduation: Pre-Commencment

2009-05-09T11:26:00.004-04:00

Graduating college. Is there any real way to be prepared for it? Physically, I know it's happening: I have my black cap and gown with my white tassel, my family already has their tickets (except one that my friend Kelli will have to give them because I forgot - yikes!), and the ceremony itself will be taking place in less than 3 hours.

Emotionally, however, it doesn't seem like it's happening. I still feel like a college student. Summer vacation! Time to get a job. Come August, I will come back to school and continue to count down the days when I will be leaving.

But my days are passed being numbered. They're up.

From those that I've spoken to, not being a college student anymore becomes a reality in a variety of ways. Some say half-way through your last semester. Others say when the friends you've left behind are going back in the Fall and you aren't. Plus, no Winter or Spring breaks! That's depressing as hell. I almost want to be a teacher just to maintain that lifestyle. Almost.

A friend of mine who's been out of school for a year and a half says she still can't deal with not being a student of any sort.

And the future? Oh boy, that's a mystery in and of itself.

On one hand, I'm torn and worried about what will happen. It's easy to say at this point in my live "I have plenty of time." But there comes a point where that time slips away, just like those four years of undergrad, and then I'll say to myself "Where did it all go?"

On the other hand, I'm not worried. If I stay focused and committed to achieving my goals and doing what's best for myself, things will happen. And if they don't, it's no one elses fault but my own.

I'm not sure how I will feel. And I'm not sure that it'll be just one moment or several. A part of me believes I'll deal with leaving school once it's all slipped away and I've completely moved home.

All I know is that I woke up this morning, ran around my neighborhood, and enjoyed how I felt: Content. At this point, that's the best I can hope for

Good Times

2009-01-21T23:26:00.005-05:00

Allie put on my Joni Mitchell vinyl, "Blue", this evening. It threw me back a bit...

One of my fondest childhood past times was playing vinyl records on my family's "stereo system," if you could even call it that. Just to give you a visual, the entertainment center was shaped like a tower: the bottom were two tape desks, the middle was the radio and the top was the record player. I can't recall what the stories or songs were played, but I remember them having a yellow face in the center. For the longest time, I didn't even know how it worked. But I still loved it all the same.

My Mom threw the vinyl player out when I was in my early teens. I didn't know that it happened until I became reminiscent one day and wanted to play some tunes and couldn't. I still collect vinyls though, especially the ones from in the library in the 50 cent box, in hopes that I will one day have a vinyl record player of my own; One that will be used while cleaning or cooking dinner or watering the flowers.

Yes, that sounds lovely.

2009-01-04T00:59:00.001-05:00

Let's go here

2008: A Summary

2008-12-31T21:02:00.003-05:00

Happy New Year.

I pooped in private. She pooped in front of her Mom. And Amelia. Maybe I am the weird one afterall...

2008-12-31T02:31:00.001-05:00

I think I'm going through this. It began in the Fall. And it's only just the beginning

People.

2008-12-30T01:23:00.000-05:00

I went to acting class for the second week in a row. Normally I only go to see Gigi, but tonight we went out and I made two new friends.

Carole. She's an older woman from Springfield, Missouri (She pronounced it "Missourah"). Carole has been taking Judaic Study courses with her Rabbi. She grew up Presbyterian but converted to Judaism around 25 years ago. Carole said her mother wasn't very happy about this. When her mother spoke to the pastor about conversion, he apparently took a long pause and replied "Well, it could've been worse." I agree. She also studies astrology, and volunteered to do my astrological chart. Not only does she study astrology, but she also studies numerology.

Here's my birthday number broken down:

March 31, 1987 = 3 + 4 + 10 + 15 = 32 = 3 + 2 = 5

5. According to Carole, the number 5 is associated with mental souls. The number of America. The date the Declaration of Independence was signed also adds up to a 5. FDR was also this number. She continued to say that I'd work well doing something with the government.

Elizabeth Digati. I met her in class last week. She's an old student of Gigi's. She went out LA almost 7 years ago, to pursue her dream as an actor. Soon after she moved out there she learned that she had a condition that, if not treated, will make her lose all of her teeth in less than 2 years. Then she found out she had another condition, bumps all over chest, that if not taken care of she would die. So, she put her dreams on hold and took care of herself. Over the course of her treatment she took medicine that caused her to lose who she was. As if these weren't bad enough, she got in a major car accident. So much has happened to stop her from living, but she keeps fighting. She continues to fight because she has no other choice (except to die, of course, but she's an Italian). Liz hadn't performed in almost 5 years until coming back to class. Listening to her talk, to her story, makes you appreciate what you have.

We got the chance to do some improv together, and I must tell you...she's pretty good. A god-given talent. And honest to a fault. I adore the hell out of this woman.

After last week's improv, we had a good long hug and told her "I don't know if you know this, but we just became friends." She goes back to LA tomorrow. I plan on keeping in touch with her.

Moral of the story: Get to know people. Don't write them off just yet.

For The First Time

2008-12-29T00:36:00.000-05:00

My mom and I have been to a number of stores after Christmas, both during the day and at night, and I've come to a conclusion: No matter when or where, retail employees are assholes.

Look, I get it: Retail employees are tired and over-worked, but I'm tired of dealing with them. They're working...At their job which, by the way, they're don't deserve. Here's the deal: Don't try and get me out of the store unless it's at the end of the night and I want to keep looking despite my purchases...

...Maybe it's all a tactic: They don't want anyone to come in and buy things. Maybe it's a form of self-mutilation in which they're purposefully fuelling a bad situation in order to make it worse. Maybe they want their stores to cave in.

I can see it now: The managers gather their employees, who are all ready to go with their red shirts and coffee in hand (Yes, they have red shirts. Because it's Costco.), in order to watch an instructional video on how to not to get the sale. Perhaps a form of economic suicide. The company is the possible suicide victim and the employees are the enablers. It all fits.

Though this rant is a bitch fest, all hope is not lost. I have a solution. All these PMSing retail workers need to do is make sure they keep chocolate squares in their pockets! I know that when I get annoyed I run to the fridge, get a piece of chocolate and walk out feeling optimistic. 25 feet later I look into the mirror and see how fat my ass is...and we're back to where we started.